What a country

So I'm perusing majorleaguebaseball.com for one of those "I love New York, it's the Yankees I hate." t-shirts. (They don't seem to have any.)

When I spy with my little eye this, in honor of next month's All Star game at Yankee Stadium, this lovely thing:

OK. That's not tooo tacky.

And, of course, you'd expect something like this:

And, Major League Baseball never being one to turn down a buck, you get this, too:

(You're right. Lady Liberty does look like Joe Borowski in drag.)

However, what I find a bit odd is this one:

Did we actually annex Canada when I wasn't looking?

Life imitating the Office

I once - very briefly - dated a woman who had never had a real job. She had worked a retail gig less than one whole pay period. But she had never been in an office building. She was fascinated by actual, real office life and used to ask me questions all the time. "What do you do when you have to go to the bathroom?" being among my favorite. "Bathroom?" I replied with a quizzical look.

She was, however, convinced the Office was just over the top and not grounded in any sort of reality.

Yeah, I've never stolen a co-worker's stapler and embedded it in Jell-O (yet). But I just kept feeling like today has been a string of incidents happening to me - maybe not straight out of an Office episode - but what would happen if FOX tried to rip off the show. Directly.

For example, I didn't quite grossly insubordinate my boss by asking him when he interrupted my Soduku solving in a meeting "Did I stutter?" like Stanley did to Michael. But when the President's Daughter asked "Why can't we go look up these 47 addresses?" I did reply "Why can't YOU go look up these 47 addresses?" The effect was eerily similar. The air left the room and the daughter and I had a staring contest.

Also, while I didn't burn my feet in the George Foreman grill at the foot of my bed a la Michael (though I do enjoy waking up to the smell of frying bacon) I did burn the roof of my mouth on some molten pizza last night, and I am walking with a limp because my hip hurts.

I didn't start a fire in the office when I put a Cheezy Pita in the toaster ... I did cause quite a bit of smoke when I stupidly put a bagel in the toaster on the bagel setting. Case in point ...


And, while I didn't, like Dwight, go to New York and back in a day ... wait. That's tomorrow.

Hmm

I just started a load of laundry and opened a new bottle of bleach. Now, I get the push down while turning child proof lid. Because, you know, bleach is a hazardous chemical.

What I don't get is the safety seal under the childproof lid. What, exactly, should I be concerned that my bleach has been spiked with? Tylenol? Milk? A really, really hazardous chemical?

What has our society become?

A funny thing happened this week

Wait. This is me we're talking about here. LOTS of funny things happened this week. LOTS of funny things happen every week.

But, this thing in particular? Quite odd. Quite unexpected.

For the first time in recent memory, I haven't hated Austin.

Now, before we jump to conclusions, I'm speaking in generalities here. My relationship with this city as a whole is as complex as my relationship to many residents of the city. Hate is certainly a strong word that isn't wholly representative of my feelings toward the entire city.

To be sure, 2008 Austin is not the city I fell in love with. And, for the longest time, I have felt suffocated by it. Trapped. Stifled.

However, as I streak up to escape velocity, I sure feel less stifled. And that's a good thing. Now I can just sit back and enjoy a bunch of Lone Star, brisket and tacos.

Isn't it fitting ...

So I was just thinking how right it feels that Jack Black and Jack White are such wildly different people. Makes you think there's order in this world.

Over thinking

I'm thinking Willie Nelson's Angel Flying Too Close To The Ground is the first song ever written about a man loving a woman with ADHD.
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