What I Learned This Week

I need to be more specific with what I want. For example: I really, really want this job on this team at this agency. Well, that kind of leaves a key aspect out. A really important aspect. Like being able to afford food.

Unfortunately, this week, I'm learning zen and the art of salary negotiation.

Also, I learned that I'm moving to New York.

What I learned this week

When your girlfriend is always right, all you have to do is always listen to her.

Flying takes its toll.

Writing down where you park at the airport is probably a good idea.

Bergstrom has courtesy patrols who will help you find your car in the parking lot.

Cars in the lot more than 24 hours are logged.

If you happen to have a picture of your license plate on your phone, the friendly staff at Bergstrom can take you to the right row.

Waiting to hear back from jobs is a little bit like Schrödinger's cat - the paradox, not the a capella musical group.

What I learned this week

Putting your contacts in wrong side out decreases their efficiency.

The first day you officially become salaried is the day you put in 22 hours.

... it's also the day you find your first gray leghair.

What I Learned This Week

Departure angst might not be a real term.

Other people realize I am a rockstar ... professionally.

Discipline isn't just for my wristband. Head down and I'll get there.

Radley cannot handle being in the room with the vacuum being on. Puddles will ensue. This is a new phenomenon.

My parents have sent e-mails to - at most - eleven people in the past year.

Health insurance is an attainable goal. Well, it was. Now that I have it again.

Birthday rules trump everyday rules.

Sometimes, when leaning back in your chair in a meeting to dramatically make a point, you can accidentally rip your sleeve and ruin everything ... including your favorite shirt.

Don't scare easy.

The 23 answers to the 23 questions I will ask everyone in order to decide if I can really love them

I've been reading a lot of Chuck Klosterman lately. I wouldn't say I think he's great. I think he's kind of me. He makes references that have to come directly from my head. And, his Killing Yourself to Live: 85% of a True Story seems a lot like something I would cook up some strange but oddly normal Friday night over drinks.

He also poses things that make me think they have to be directed at me - such as the section of Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto. I wouldn't feel right (nor legal) directly copying the section. So, instead, I will just give you my answers to his questions.

The (answers to the) twenty-three questions I ask everybody I meet in order to decide if I can really love them:

1. This is a toughie. Albert Einstein's discoveries probably would have been made by now. I mean he's no Tesla or anything. Then again, how can we be sure this magician is unique? I mean, if there is only one of him in the world, then I pick him. If not, it's a push.
2. I would not attempt to do this. Not every political prisoner is innocent.
3. Hitler's skull.
4. Yes, so he will be out of the League in four years.
5. This is an interesting question. Basically, even though I dig Alice in Chains, it is effectively giving up music in your life. I listen to music all the time. So would I give that up just to keep my soulmate out of some moderate pain every few years? Man. That's the altruistic answer. So, has all the altruism been sucked out of me? Have the bastards ground me down?
6. Hell no.
7. Presidential thyroid cancer.
8. I've happily dealt with far worse than Dark Crystal.
9. Decrease.
10. I have no idea.
11. Exit the theater.
12. $100
13. Oh shit.
14. Cats would love it, as we love Peanuts.
15. Sadly, I would spend the next 14 days at work. Over the past couple months, I have realized I am actually really good at my job. And I would like to enjoy that for just a little bit longer.
16. You can't resist it. Embrace it.
17. Trust the first one.
18. Ten minutes on the moon.
19. Muscle spasm.
20. I love documentaries.
21. Two years earlier.
22. The first rumor is the most troubling.
23. Uhh. Weird?

What I learned this week ...

(The abridged version for those with short attention spans)

I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And god damn it. People like me. Seriously. I'm a bigger badass than I knew. And I knew I was a pretty big badass.

Being wanted is nice.

Being appreciated in the office is ... well ... it feels odd. I'll have to get back to you on this one.

Location. Location. Location. It's not just for real estate.

I wasn't the reason I felt so much pressure.

There is no greater physiological mishmash than a basset hound and a Dalmatian.