When your girlfriend is always right, all you have to do is always listen to her.
Flying takes its toll.
Writing down where you park at the airport is probably a good idea.
Bergstrom has courtesy patrols who will help you find your car in the parking lot.
Cars in the lot more than 24 hours are logged.
If you happen to have a picture of your license plate on your phone, the friendly staff at Bergstrom can take you to the right row.
Waiting to hear back from jobs is a little bit like Schrödinger's cat - the paradox, not the a capella musical group.
30 May 2008
Fess up
Pisces - A friend's ambiguous comments will irk you -- you need to find out what they meant.
OK, so which one of you said it, and what did you say? Because I feel remarkably un-irked.
OK, so which one of you said it, and what did you say? Because I feel remarkably un-irked.
A funny thing happened this week
Wait. This is me we're talking about here. LOTS of funny things happened this week. LOTS of funny things happen every week.
But, this thing in particular? Quite odd. Quite unexpected.
For the first time in recent memory, I haven't hated Austin.
Now, before we jump to conclusions, I'm speaking in generalities here. My relationship with this city as a whole is as complex as my relationship to many residents of the city. Hate is certainly a strong word that isn't wholly representative of my feelings toward the entire city.
To be sure, 2008 Austin is not the city I fell in love with. And, for the longest time, I have felt suffocated by it. Trapped. Stifled.
However, as I streak up to escape velocity, I sure feel less stifled. And that's a good thing. Now I can just sit back and enjoy a bunch of Lone Star, brisket and tacos.
But, this thing in particular? Quite odd. Quite unexpected.
For the first time in recent memory, I haven't hated Austin.
Now, before we jump to conclusions, I'm speaking in generalities here. My relationship with this city as a whole is as complex as my relationship to many residents of the city. Hate is certainly a strong word that isn't wholly representative of my feelings toward the entire city.
To be sure, 2008 Austin is not the city I fell in love with. And, for the longest time, I have felt suffocated by it. Trapped. Stifled.
However, as I streak up to escape velocity, I sure feel less stifled. And that's a good thing. Now I can just sit back and enjoy a bunch of Lone Star, brisket and tacos.
28 May 2008
Reasons a certain someone is awesome
Pisces - Your mind is extremely sharp today, and you are eager to discover some new ideas.
No shit, cosmos. You mean like this sort of thing?
My girlfriend is most certainly not a coddler. And, anytime I start getting coddly, she punches me in the face. (Only literally a couple times. Oh, and she felled me with a shot to the gut once when I was going for a hug. Yes, she's Irish.)
Like my friend Rick Ocasek* says, "just what I needed." And, literally, it is. At the point of a bayonet, she forces me to be more self-confident. And to not be a bleeder. But that doesn't mean I readily accept it. I kick and scream and freak out. Often. Usually about stupid shit that, at the end of the day, doesn't mean crap.
But, at the end of the day, I know she's right. There. I said it. In public.
Oh, another reason she's awesome? She's FINALLLY getting a new cell phone. I suspect it's so she can receive Radley pictures. Will confirm this later.
* We're not really friends. We're blood brothers.
No shit, cosmos. You mean like this sort of thing?
My girlfriend is most certainly not a coddler. And, anytime I start getting coddly, she punches me in the face. (Only literally a couple times. Oh, and she felled me with a shot to the gut once when I was going for a hug. Yes, she's Irish.)
Like my friend Rick Ocasek* says, "just what I needed." And, literally, it is. At the point of a bayonet, she forces me to be more self-confident. And to not be a bleeder. But that doesn't mean I readily accept it. I kick and scream and freak out. Often. Usually about stupid shit that, at the end of the day, doesn't mean crap.
But, at the end of the day, I know she's right. There. I said it. In public.
Oh, another reason she's awesome? She's FINALLLY getting a new cell phone. I suspect it's so she can receive Radley pictures. Will confirm this later.
* We're not really friends. We're blood brothers.
Middle ground
Im so glad that I know more than I knew then.
Gonna keep on tryin,
Till I reach the highest ground.
Look, I've been a bad blogger. But, now that I have an intern (SURPRISE!) maybe I'll have her document things as I keep L-I-V-I-N.
It's been a really, really hectic month or so. I mean, I've seen so much of a certain someone that I remember what she looks like. Three weekends in a row. It's like ... well, it's like it could be.
So, once there's a good stopping point, I'll catch you up. I will.
Gonna keep on tryin,
Till I reach the highest ground.
Look, I've been a bad blogger. But, now that I have an intern (SURPRISE!) maybe I'll have her document things as I keep L-I-V-I-N.
It's been a really, really hectic month or so. I mean, I've seen so much of a certain someone that I remember what she looks like. Three weekends in a row. It's like ... well, it's like it could be.
So, once there's a good stopping point, I'll catch you up. I will.
26 May 2008
25 May 2008
Zut alors!
Why am I the only person at Niketown not speaking French?
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
23 May 2008
What I learned this week
Putting your contacts in wrong side out decreases their efficiency.
The first day you officially become salaried is the day you put in 22 hours.
... it's also the day you find your first gray leghair.
The first day you officially become salaried is the day you put in 22 hours.
... it's also the day you find your first gray leghair.
22 May 2008
20 May 2008
C'est vrai
I really just put in a 20 hour workday.
I really have to be at the office at 0800 hrs. That's really three hours from now.
I really do love my job.
I really have to be at the office at 0800 hrs. That's really three hours from now.
I really do love my job.
19 May 2008
18 May 2008
The weekend I almost Schruted it
This is a placeholder. Fill you in later. After (surprise) my flight back into town.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
17 May 2008
16 May 2008
What I Learned This Week
Departure angst might not be a real term.
Other people realize I am a rockstar ... professionally.
Discipline isn't just for my wristband. Head down and I'll get there.
Radley cannot handle being in the room with the vacuum being on. Puddles will ensue. This is a new phenomenon.
My parents have sent e-mails to - at most - eleven people in the past year.
Health insurance is an attainable goal. Well, it was. Now that I have it again.
Birthday rules trump everyday rules.
Sometimes, when leaning back in your chair in a meeting to dramatically make a point, you can accidentally rip your sleeve and ruin everything ... including your favorite shirt.
Don't scare easy.
Other people realize I am a rockstar ... professionally.
Discipline isn't just for my wristband. Head down and I'll get there.
Radley cannot handle being in the room with the vacuum being on. Puddles will ensue. This is a new phenomenon.
My parents have sent e-mails to - at most - eleven people in the past year.
Health insurance is an attainable goal. Well, it was. Now that I have it again.
Birthday rules trump everyday rules.
Sometimes, when leaning back in your chair in a meeting to dramatically make a point, you can accidentally rip your sleeve and ruin everything ... including your favorite shirt.
Don't scare easy.
15 May 2008
The 23 answers to the 23 questions I will ask everyone in order to decide if I can really love them
I've been reading a lot of Chuck Klosterman lately. I wouldn't say I think he's great. I think he's kind of me. He makes references that have to come directly from my head. And, his Killing Yourself to Live: 85% of a True Story seems a lot like something I would cook up some strange but oddly normal Friday night over drinks.
He also poses things that make me think they have to be directed at me - such as the section of Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto. I wouldn't feel right (nor legal) directly copying the section. So, instead, I will just give you my answers to his questions.
The (answers to the) twenty-three questions I ask everybody I meet in order to decide if I can really love them:
1. This is a toughie. Albert Einstein's discoveries probably would have been made by now. I mean he's no Tesla or anything. Then again, how can we be sure this magician is unique? I mean, if there is only one of him in the world, then I pick him. If not, it's a push.
2. I would not attempt to do this. Not every political prisoner is innocent.
3. Hitler's skull.
4. Yes, so he will be out of the League in four years.
5. This is an interesting question. Basically, even though I dig Alice in Chains, it is effectively giving up music in your life. I listen to music all the time. So would I give that up just to keep my soulmate out of some moderate pain every few years? Man. That's the altruistic answer. So, has all the altruism been sucked out of me? Have the bastards ground me down?
6. Hell no.
7. Presidential thyroid cancer.
8. I've happily dealt with far worse than Dark Crystal.
9. Decrease.
10. I have no idea.
11. Exit the theater.
12. $100
13. Oh shit.
14. Cats would love it, as we love Peanuts.
15. Sadly, I would spend the next 14 days at work. Over the past couple months, I have realized I am actually really good at my job. And I would like to enjoy that for just a little bit longer.
16. You can't resist it. Embrace it.
17. Trust the first one.
18. Ten minutes on the moon.
19. Muscle spasm.
20. I love documentaries.
21. Two years earlier.
22. The first rumor is the most troubling.
23. Uhh. Weird?
He also poses things that make me think they have to be directed at me - such as the section of Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto. I wouldn't feel right (nor legal) directly copying the section. So, instead, I will just give you my answers to his questions.
The (answers to the) twenty-three questions I ask everybody I meet in order to decide if I can really love them:
1. This is a toughie. Albert Einstein's discoveries probably would have been made by now. I mean he's no Tesla or anything. Then again, how can we be sure this magician is unique? I mean, if there is only one of him in the world, then I pick him. If not, it's a push.
2. I would not attempt to do this. Not every political prisoner is innocent.
3. Hitler's skull.
4. Yes, so he will be out of the League in four years.
5. This is an interesting question. Basically, even though I dig Alice in Chains, it is effectively giving up music in your life. I listen to music all the time. So would I give that up just to keep my soulmate out of some moderate pain every few years? Man. That's the altruistic answer. So, has all the altruism been sucked out of me? Have the bastards ground me down?
6. Hell no.
7. Presidential thyroid cancer.
8. I've happily dealt with far worse than Dark Crystal.
9. Decrease.
10. I have no idea.
11. Exit the theater.
12. $100
13. Oh shit.
14. Cats would love it, as we love Peanuts.
15. Sadly, I would spend the next 14 days at work. Over the past couple months, I have realized I am actually really good at my job. And I would like to enjoy that for just a little bit longer.
16. You can't resist it. Embrace it.
17. Trust the first one.
18. Ten minutes on the moon.
19. Muscle spasm.
20. I love documentaries.
21. Two years earlier.
22. The first rumor is the most troubling.
23. Uhh. Weird?
13 May 2008
Step into my office
So, it's no secret that I am playing the job field. I know it. You know it. My bosses know it. My parents know it. But I'm still trying to walk the line between discretion and transparency.
My current "office" is on the top floor of a brand new office building. "We" have about a third of the floor. One of my bosses asks me yesterday if I have poked my nose around the other two-thirds of the floor. I had not.
I really should have.
You see, we "work" in a shopping mall. OK, it's one of those mixed use development things with office space and apartments and retail space. I've been doing a lot of phone interviewing the past two months. I've also been fielding about five calls a day from headhunters. Now, I don't exactly want to take those calls at my desk. Or in the hallway just outside our door. If I step just outside, I am bombarded like Manuel Noriega in the Panamanian invasion by soft, smooth jazz. Mortifyingly, a couple recruiters have even asked me if I am in an elevator. I can go to my truck, but it's a good 15 minute round trip ... which greatly decreases my stealthability for these missions.
Well, imagine my glee when I opened the door to the north third of the floor today.
Giant open space fully sealed off from any prying eyes and ears. And, best of all, a full five bars of glorious T-Mobile service. No more sunburns from standing between the wall and the dumpster over by the vacant retail space.
Score.
My current "office" is on the top floor of a brand new office building. "We" have about a third of the floor. One of my bosses asks me yesterday if I have poked my nose around the other two-thirds of the floor. I had not.
I really should have.
You see, we "work" in a shopping mall. OK, it's one of those mixed use development things with office space and apartments and retail space. I've been doing a lot of phone interviewing the past two months. I've also been fielding about five calls a day from headhunters. Now, I don't exactly want to take those calls at my desk. Or in the hallway just outside our door. If I step just outside, I am bombarded like Manuel Noriega in the Panamanian invasion by soft, smooth jazz. Mortifyingly, a couple recruiters have even asked me if I am in an elevator. I can go to my truck, but it's a good 15 minute round trip ... which greatly decreases my stealthability for these missions.
Well, imagine my glee when I opened the door to the north third of the floor today.
Giant open space fully sealed off from any prying eyes and ears. And, best of all, a full five bars of glorious T-Mobile service. No more sunburns from standing between the wall and the dumpster over by the vacant retail space.
Score.
12 May 2008
A thousand words
That look on your face this morning when we said goodbye told me everything I'll ever need to hear.
We should talk using fewer words. They get in the way.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
09 May 2008
Greetings from 1997
You remember how the world went from 53 search engines one day to everyone magically uses Google the next?
We’re unringing that bell today.
For some reason, here at work (at an interactive agency, no less), we cannot access Google. Not at all.
No Google.
No Gmail.
No gchat. Not even through Meebo or Adium.
No blogger. So, though I can use my super secret backdoor e-mail address to post, I won’t even be able to read this.
In fact, I just had to use Yahoo to find out when Google was formed. (September 7, 1998) And it took freaking forever. And I doubt it’s right.
This sucks. I mean there are lots of things I would like to go back 11 years and do without. OK, mainly lots of people I would like to go back 11 years and do without. But life without Google? I mean. What do I do? Seriously.
I’m instantly dumber. I might be e-mailing questions to some of you that I need answered. Though I will have no way to verify the information, I implore you to give me the real info. Please.
I’m going to go Yahoo some info about the dark ages. No, I’m going to go Google some info on the dark ages from my phone.
This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify the system manager. Please note that any views or opinions presented in this email are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of the company. Finally, the recipient should check this email and any attachments for the presence of viruses. The company accepts no liability for any damage caused by any virus transmitted by this email.
We’re unringing that bell today.
For some reason, here at work (at an interactive agency, no less), we cannot access Google. Not at all.
No Google.
No Gmail.
No gchat. Not even through Meebo or Adium.
No blogger. So, though I can use my super secret backdoor e-mail address to post, I won’t even be able to read this.
In fact, I just had to use Yahoo to find out when Google was formed. (September 7, 1998) And it took freaking forever. And I doubt it’s right.
This sucks. I mean there are lots of things I would like to go back 11 years and do without. OK, mainly lots of people I would like to go back 11 years and do without. But life without Google? I mean. What do I do? Seriously.
I’m instantly dumber. I might be e-mailing questions to some of you that I need answered. Though I will have no way to verify the information, I implore you to give me the real info. Please.
I’m going to go Yahoo some info about the dark ages. No, I’m going to go Google some info on the dark ages from my phone.
This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify the system manager. Please note that any views or opinions presented in this email are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of the company. Finally, the recipient should check this email and any attachments for the presence of viruses. The company accepts no liability for any damage caused by any virus transmitted by this email.
07 May 2008
File it under: Bad ideas
The following is an actual, real, swear to God subject line of an e-mail I really just received:
No Reservations Required – Mother’s Day at Hooters
No Reservations Required – Mother’s Day at Hooters
06 May 2008
I just saw the damnedest thing
The janitor for our building just dropped his gum wrapper on the floor.
Dead Flowers
I meant to write a nice little narrative yesterday about Dead Flowers, this week's Rolling Stones Song of the Week. But I got busy. Bite me.
Besides there being a version of Dead Flowers on the Big Lebowski soundtrack done by Townes Van Zandt, it's quite easily one of my favorite Stones songs ever.
For one, it's easily one of the most influential songs the Stones ever recorded. Easily. Dig Wilco? Old 97s? Ryan Adams? A little something called alt country? It all came from here. From this one "throw away" Stones track off of Sticky Fingers, country became something rock bands could play with. Clearly influenced by Gram Parsons and Keith Richards hanging out, it led to Parsons' Flying Burrito Brothers getting to release Wild Horses before the Stones did.
OK, so it's just a song.
Oops, so I left out my personal favorite part of the song.
Take me down, little Suzy. Take me down.
I know you think you're the Queen of the Underground.
I love love love that line. I just do. It's in my top ten lines from the Stones. "Flippancy" might not be the best word, but it's the first word that comes to mind. And the flippancy that this girl really is the Queen of the Underground is awesome. Implied, clearly, that the narrator has in fact crossed paths with the real Queen of the Underground.
Besides there being a version of Dead Flowers on the Big Lebowski soundtrack done by Townes Van Zandt, it's quite easily one of my favorite Stones songs ever.
For one, it's easily one of the most influential songs the Stones ever recorded. Easily. Dig Wilco? Old 97s? Ryan Adams? A little something called alt country? It all came from here. From this one "throw away" Stones track off of Sticky Fingers, country became something rock bands could play with. Clearly influenced by Gram Parsons and Keith Richards hanging out, it led to Parsons' Flying Burrito Brothers getting to release Wild Horses before the Stones did.
OK, so it's just a song.
Oops, so I left out my personal favorite part of the song.
Take me down, little Suzy. Take me down.
I know you think you're the Queen of the Underground.
I love love love that line. I just do. It's in my top ten lines from the Stones. "Flippancy" might not be the best word, but it's the first word that comes to mind. And the flippancy that this girl really is the Queen of the Underground is awesome. Implied, clearly, that the narrator has in fact crossed paths with the real Queen of the Underground.
Ruined. Utterly. Totally. Ruined.
So, at lunch today, I got to hear my second favorite David Allen Coe song. The one where he's having a conversation with the devil. Compliments him on his fiddle solo being better than Johnny's. (A song ruined for me by a trip to Wurstfest last fall.) And says he never really liked cocaine, just the way it smelled.
ANYWAY, I flipped the station and got treated to a new Willie song. Really dug it and totally forgot about it until tonight, when Zac brought up seeing Willie's Picnic this summer.
So, I bust out the Google for this new Willie song. Come to find out (brace yourself) it was written by Kristofferson. Who I am a big fan of ... if for no other reason than he put out an album titled Jesus Was a Capricorn - a copy of which used to hang on me and Brooke's Wall of Men We Admire. (Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Kris Kristofferson, Waylon Jennings, Robert Plant and Bea Arthur)
So, the song comes up on YouTube and there's a clip of Kris doing it. He starts off by saying, "I want to do a song for John and June now." That's a good intro.
And then?
Well he opens his mouth to sing.
Oy vey.
But wait. There's more. Like this guy. (The only one of these clips I couldn't get all the way through, for the record)
Seriously. If you make it all the way through that, I'll give you a dollar.
But wait. There's more. Like this one. The only clip I could find with Willie doing the song with decent audio. I direct your attention to the 1:40, 2:15 and 3:15 marks.
It's like Zac said, "Thank you YouTube and every slapdick with an Apple thinking he can edit videos."
I'd like to think I taught him the term slapdick.
ANYWAY, I flipped the station and got treated to a new Willie song. Really dug it and totally forgot about it until tonight, when Zac brought up seeing Willie's Picnic this summer.
So, I bust out the Google for this new Willie song. Come to find out (brace yourself) it was written by Kristofferson. Who I am a big fan of ... if for no other reason than he put out an album titled Jesus Was a Capricorn - a copy of which used to hang on me and Brooke's Wall of Men We Admire. (Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Kris Kristofferson, Waylon Jennings, Robert Plant and Bea Arthur)
So, the song comes up on YouTube and there's a clip of Kris doing it. He starts off by saying, "I want to do a song for John and June now." That's a good intro.
And then?
Well he opens his mouth to sing.
Oy vey.
But wait. There's more. Like this guy. (The only one of these clips I couldn't get all the way through, for the record)
Seriously. If you make it all the way through that, I'll give you a dollar.
But wait. There's more. Like this one. The only clip I could find with Willie doing the song with decent audio. I direct your attention to the 1:40, 2:15 and 3:15 marks.
It's like Zac said, "Thank you YouTube and every slapdick with an Apple thinking he can edit videos."
I'd like to think I taught him the term slapdick.
05 May 2008
The Rolling Stones Song of the Week
I think about this song every year on Kentucky Derby Day. Well, I hope you didn't see me. In my ragged company. A basset hound and a Dalmatian.
02 May 2008
What I learned this week ...
(The abridged version for those with short attention spans)
I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And god damn it. People like me. Seriously. I'm a bigger badass than I knew. And I knew I was a pretty big badass.
Being wanted is nice.
Being appreciated in the office is ... well ... it feels odd. I'll have to get back to you on this one.
Location. Location. Location. It's not just for real estate.
I wasn't the reason I felt so much pressure.
There is no greater physiological mishmash than a basset hound and a Dalmatian.
I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And god damn it. People like me. Seriously. I'm a bigger badass than I knew. And I knew I was a pretty big badass.
Being wanted is nice.
Being appreciated in the office is ... well ... it feels odd. I'll have to get back to you on this one.
Location. Location. Location. It's not just for real estate.
I wasn't the reason I felt so much pressure.
There is no greater physiological mishmash than a basset hound and a Dalmatian.
WHY, GOD WHY!!?!
Rafael Betancourt is filling in at Borowski's closer spot and is 2-for-2 in save opportunities. Indians manager Eric Wedge has said that Borowski will resume the closing duties upon his return.
Damn it, Wedge. Are you even trying to win? If we come in last, can the bitch owner sell the team and turn them into the Albuquerque Isotopes?
Damn it, Wedge. Are you even trying to win? If we come in last, can the bitch owner sell the team and turn them into the Albuquerque Isotopes?
01 May 2008
Baby, it wont be long till I be tyin on my flyin shoes
What's scarier? Thinking you can't doing something, or figuring out you can, you just have to actually do it?
One of my favorite documentaries is Be Here to Love Me about the legendary Townes Van Zandt. There's a scene in there where Townes talks about how he was at a party. He was standing on the balcony and was possessed by the desire to feel what it was like the moment - the split second -before one fell off the balcony. Well, he deduced the only way to know that moment was to actually fall off the balcony. To not go that far with it would mean he hadn't in fact felt the moment before the fall.
I might not be at the falling moment. But I can feel the wind. And I think I can feel the moment of truth.
And I can't fucking wait.
Hold on. I'm coming.
One of my favorite documentaries is Be Here to Love Me about the legendary Townes Van Zandt. There's a scene in there where Townes talks about how he was at a party. He was standing on the balcony and was possessed by the desire to feel what it was like the moment - the split second -before one fell off the balcony. Well, he deduced the only way to know that moment was to actually fall off the balcony. To not go that far with it would mean he hadn't in fact felt the moment before the fall.
I might not be at the falling moment. But I can feel the wind. And I think I can feel the moment of truth.
And I can't fucking wait.
Hold on. I'm coming.
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