Big things in the works. Big things.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
04 April 2008
Right on, Bob FM
How did you know I was walking on sunshine?
03 April 2008
Science geeks, please
Can you explain how room temperature coffee, sitting on my desk directly next to room temperature water is somehow 20 degrees colder?
Should I be concerned?
It seems the lid of my orange-orange (c+calcium) Glaceau Vitamin Water is discolored. The inside is ... well, orange.
Seriously. How do people drink this chemical crap? I think the market across the way from my office had a fridge meltdown last night. There was no juice of any kind this morning. Also, my orange-orange (c+calcium) Glaceau Vitamin Water is warm. These are all signs something is wrong.
Crap, I think I left a (R) out of orange-orange (c+calcium) Glaceau Vitamin Water (R). Get my lawyers on the phone. And on retainer.
I felt less healthy just picking up the bottle. But I had to have something to wash down the 4 cold medications I took this morning.
Seriously. How do people drink this chemical crap? I think the market across the way from my office had a fridge meltdown last night. There was no juice of any kind this morning. Also, my orange-orange (c+calcium) Glaceau Vitamin Water is warm. These are all signs something is wrong.
Crap, I think I left a (R) out of orange-orange (c+calcium) Glaceau Vitamin Water (R). Get my lawyers on the phone. And on retainer.
I felt less healthy just picking up the bottle. But I had to have something to wash down the 4 cold medications I took this morning.
Wow, universe
You're funny.
You Are The Sunshine of My Life. I haven't heard this in years. But did it really have to be today?
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
02 April 2008
Can somebody tell me?
When did Chris Cornell start sucking?
Seriously. Badmotorfinger is one of the best albums ever. I daresay I have probably listened to it more start to finish than any other album ever. I think it can be argued effectively that Rusty Cage and Outshined are the best one-two tracks in the history of rock. You can follow that up with Room a Thousand Years Wide, Jesus Christ Pose and Searching With My Good Eye Closed.
I'm looking California and feeling Minnesota.
ME TOO, CHRIS!
Too tired to start a fire, I'm burning diesel.
Burning dinosaur bones.
Kick that imagery's ass, Chris.
And, now, certainly I live in a glass house here, but what the hell have you done the last seventeen years, Chris? And can you please stop it?
Audioslave? Oy. You actually proved that Zac de la Rocha was a good singer.
That soundtrack to Great Expectations? Well, it drew attention away from Ethan Hawke ... which was probably the goal of that shitacular endeavor.
Seriously. Badmotorfinger is one of the best albums ever. I daresay I have probably listened to it more start to finish than any other album ever. I think it can be argued effectively that Rusty Cage and Outshined are the best one-two tracks in the history of rock. You can follow that up with Room a Thousand Years Wide, Jesus Christ Pose and Searching With My Good Eye Closed.
I'm looking California and feeling Minnesota.
ME TOO, CHRIS!
Too tired to start a fire, I'm burning diesel.
Burning dinosaur bones.
Kick that imagery's ass, Chris.
And, now, certainly I live in a glass house here, but what the hell have you done the last seventeen years, Chris? And can you please stop it?
Audioslave? Oy. You actually proved that Zac de la Rocha was a good singer.
That soundtrack to Great Expectations? Well, it drew attention away from Ethan Hawke ... which was probably the goal of that shitacular endeavor.
01 April 2008
What's better ...
Than Tom Petty's Free Fallin' with the windows down and the volume up?
Oh yeah. Signing Koosh.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
It's like Casey fucking Kasem
The hits. They just keep on coming:
Hi Colby,
I wanted to touch base with you regarding the Account Manager position at [ad agency]. Unfortunately, at this point the hiring team has chosen to continue the process with another candidate, and they are no longer actively considering your application. However, we have your information on file. Should another position matching your skills become available, we'll be sure to let you know. In the meantime, I wish you the best of luck on your job search.
Best regards,
Person's Name
Hi Colby,
I wanted to touch base with you regarding the Account Manager position at [ad agency]. Unfortunately, at this point the hiring team has chosen to continue the process with another candidate, and they are no longer actively considering your application. However, we have your information on file. Should another position matching your skills become available, we'll be sure to let you know. In the meantime, I wish you the best of luck on your job search.
Best regards,
Person's Name
Hotel Austin
I checked out a long time ago. Clearly, I can never leave.
In fact, a year ago today, I ended a relationship with someone on the grounds that I was moving. The core reality was, I had to have a drastic life change. We both did. That relationship was bleeding both of us dry. I found myself in a terribly unfulfilling job and in a horrible relationship at a terrible time. And I could never overcome the feeling that I deserved better in my life. And deserved to be doing what I want with my life. Also, moving would have accomplished all those things. Which made it the perfect plan.
But, here it is. A year later. And I'm still in Austin. It's like effing groundhog day. Before, I felt like a slave to a life I didn't want. Now I feel like an indentured servant to it. No chains. Still can't go anywhere.
I've thrown hundreds of resumes all over the country. I've talked to dozens of headhunters. I've lied all over my resume. I've volunteered to start over at entry level positions. Anything to get me out of this town. I.HATE.THIS.FUCKING.TOWN. And nothing. Well, I got a magical plane ride that was supposed to somehow give me interactive experience. Apparently I fell asleep at the key parts.
If you asked the general population would you like to live forever and would you like to live in Austin, I bet the percentages would be pretty close for both questions.
But ask any vampire how cool it is to live forever. It's not. They'll happily tell you. They just want to die with dignity. I just want to get the hell out of here. I'm an Austin vampire. An Auspire. A Vampstin.
That sounds like a car. And a kid on a 5 year old soccer team.
Seriously, why can't I be traded to another city? I'm not happy with my playing time, coach. I'm not happy with this West Coast offense we're running now in this city, coach. Your mom, coach.
I'm holding out. I'm going to become a cancer in the locker room. I'm getting into a feud with a reporter who's been covering our team for years. I'm wearing a Yankees hat to an Indians playoff game. I'm reaching out and grabbing a foul ball. I'm laying on the scorer's table until someone throws a drink on me. Then I'm going in the stands. Spider monkey style.
No, I'm not. I'm just going to live forever. Yippee.
In fact, a year ago today, I ended a relationship with someone on the grounds that I was moving. The core reality was, I had to have a drastic life change. We both did. That relationship was bleeding both of us dry. I found myself in a terribly unfulfilling job and in a horrible relationship at a terrible time. And I could never overcome the feeling that I deserved better in my life. And deserved to be doing what I want with my life. Also, moving would have accomplished all those things. Which made it the perfect plan.
But, here it is. A year later. And I'm still in Austin. It's like effing groundhog day. Before, I felt like a slave to a life I didn't want. Now I feel like an indentured servant to it. No chains. Still can't go anywhere.
I've thrown hundreds of resumes all over the country. I've talked to dozens of headhunters. I've lied all over my resume. I've volunteered to start over at entry level positions. Anything to get me out of this town. I.HATE.THIS.FUCKING.TOWN. And nothing. Well, I got a magical plane ride that was supposed to somehow give me interactive experience. Apparently I fell asleep at the key parts.
If you asked the general population would you like to live forever and would you like to live in Austin, I bet the percentages would be pretty close for both questions.
But ask any vampire how cool it is to live forever. It's not. They'll happily tell you. They just want to die with dignity. I just want to get the hell out of here. I'm an Austin vampire. An Auspire. A Vampstin.
That sounds like a car. And a kid on a 5 year old soccer team.
Seriously, why can't I be traded to another city? I'm not happy with my playing time, coach. I'm not happy with this West Coast offense we're running now in this city, coach. Your mom, coach.
I'm holding out. I'm going to become a cancer in the locker room. I'm getting into a feud with a reporter who's been covering our team for years. I'm wearing a Yankees hat to an Indians playoff game. I'm reaching out and grabbing a foul ball. I'm laying on the scorer's table until someone throws a drink on me. Then I'm going in the stands. Spider monkey style.
No, I'm not. I'm just going to live forever. Yippee.
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