Life imitating the Office

I once - very briefly - dated a woman who had never had a real job. She had worked a retail gig less than one whole pay period. But she had never been in an office building. She was fascinated by actual, real office life and used to ask me questions all the time. "What do you do when you have to go to the bathroom?" being among my favorite. "Bathroom?" I replied with a quizzical look.

She was, however, convinced the Office was just over the top and not grounded in any sort of reality.

Yeah, I've never stolen a co-worker's stapler and embedded it in Jell-O (yet). But I just kept feeling like today has been a string of incidents happening to me - maybe not straight out of an Office episode - but what would happen if FOX tried to rip off the show. Directly.

For example, I didn't quite grossly insubordinate my boss by asking him when he interrupted my Soduku solving in a meeting "Did I stutter?" like Stanley did to Michael. But when the President's Daughter asked "Why can't we go look up these 47 addresses?" I did reply "Why can't YOU go look up these 47 addresses?" The effect was eerily similar. The air left the room and the daughter and I had a staring contest.

Also, while I didn't burn my feet in the George Foreman grill at the foot of my bed a la Michael (though I do enjoy waking up to the smell of frying bacon) I did burn the roof of my mouth on some molten pizza last night, and I am walking with a limp because my hip hurts.

I didn't start a fire in the office when I put a Cheezy Pita in the toaster ... I did cause quite a bit of smoke when I stupidly put a bagel in the toaster on the bagel setting. Case in point ...


And, while I didn't, like Dwight, go to New York and back in a day ... wait. That's tomorrow.