07 August 2008

Well, it's official

Yesterday, Kelly and I were in a spirited debate about how best to deal with stupid, gawking tourists on the sidewalks.

She contended that it was rude for me to passionately exclaim, "JUST WALK!" and "HOLY JESUS!" when a passel of tourists exited a restaurant and stood, motionless on the sidewalk. I contended that her preferred method (bumping into them with extreme prejudice) had much different context coming from a 5 foot 3 size small than it does coming from 6 foot 5, 210 pounds of me. Though, I am not averse to dropping a shoulder on a local, like I did last week, (he was either going to plow into me or I could brace myself. It was the best hit I have laid on someone since IM flag football. Seriously, I laid the jackass out. Which is what should happen when you are flat out sprinting like Carl Lewis in a crowded subway station.) I don't really have a half-speed when it comes to initiating contact like that. (clearly)

This morning, Radley pooped on the sidewalk, instead of having to go all the way to the park.

This afternoon, a co-worker told me to slow down. I was talking too fast.

For the past 5 weeks, as a coping mechanism, I think, I was viewing this as if it was summer camp. It's not. I really live here.

2 comments:

K said...

I'm 5'4".

Also, you yelled "HOLY JESUS" at a group of old men and women walking out of a restaurant on 8th Ave.

Colby said...

at least i kept you from road gradering them, butkus.